#i feel like vakama is anxiety coded

[bionicle-ramblings]

I mean this in the most inoffensive way possible, and this is purely my interpretation, looking back now that I've caught up more on the lore and read up on on the books and rewatched the movies:

Vakama is a very anxiety coded character

My evidence is more interpretation that anything else, but let me explain:

We all know how Vakama's story starts: he's an esteemed mask-maker in Ta-Metru, good enough to surpass his teacher and have the Turaga choose him to make the most powerful Kanohi mask of all time(pun intended), he's got friends he enjoys his time with, he has a good thing going for him, even if his city is overrun with Vahki that will attack on sight, there's a homicidal plant that's trying to kill everyone, and Ta-Metru isn't the most livable place to be, all things considered, but Vakama is at his most stable as a Matoran.

I don't have a lot of or any background on his Matoran life to really point out anything that comes across as anxiety, but I will say that Lhikan giving him the Toa stone and Lhikan's capture gave Vakama some kind of survivor's guilt, seeing as how Nidhiki literally threatened to burn Vakama alive if Lhikan didn't hand himself over.

Where we loop back to anxiety territory is the visions Vakama has, or rather what the visions could represent. Anxiety is often referred to as "being afraid of the future," and the future is something Vakama sees due to his visions. The closest I can think of that can be a real life interpretation of the visions(what it could be IRL) are panic attacks or anxiety attacks, nothing severe, but big enough that almost everyone who sees it chalks it up to, "being cross-wired."

Some other things that come off as anxiety coding are when Vakama still makes the Mask of Time, despite still being a Toa, when Vakama tries to feign confidence and gets irritable when he's trying to rescue the rest of the Matoran and is trying to do it as fast as possible, even snapping at and lashing out at his friends. Granted the latter, getting haughty and trying to get the job done quickly, seems to be more the result of Vakama internalizing Lhikan's sacrifice and last words, doing so in a, "he said he was proud to call me his brother, so now I have to keep him proud, even if he's not here to say it," which is a line of thinking that could bring us back to anxiety

In terms of how making the Mask of Time can be seen as something to do with anxiety, this requires a bit of a personal lense to view:

Have you ever been at a point where a big event or thing is coming up and to keep yourself from focusing on it, you try to focus on something else? For instance, if you were stressing about a new semester of school starting or a job interview or a test, have you ever tried to take the focus off of it by doing something like cooking a meal or writing ina journal or drawing? Just a small thing you're used to doing that both challenges you, but is relatively stress-free?

I imagine Vakama is doing mostly the same thing. With no sugar-coating at all, he's stressed the hell out about being a Toa and cannot really express that or back out because he was chosen, so he resorts to making the Kanohi Vahi; he's a skilled mask-maker and his job was to make masks, which he was very successful in. I also imagine it's a bit of a bargaining thing for him, like a sort of, "If I can succeed in making this, I can succeed going forward," thing.

There are smaller things that are also possible pointers or shows of Vakama's implied anxiety, namely how he chooses a weapon most familiar to him from his time as a Matoran(the disk launcher), how his mask power is invisibility, which I've personally felt sometimes when I was having anxiety moments("I don't want to be here right now, I don't want anyone to see me"), and just how quiet Vakama is in general, being someone who possibly wouldn't be noticed as much if he weren't the main protagonist in LoMN; I'm pretty sure if it was Matau or Onewa we were dollowing, Vakama would be an intriguing background character similar to Nuju, only slightly louder, so to speak

This was just a random thought I had, and most of it is just what I interpret, and sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense😅

[crystaltoa]

If it’s down to yes or no, I’ll go no, but it is a tad more complicated than that. Here, have some unnecessary over-analysis!

As a kid, it didn’t really resonate with me, and while I appreciate that part of his arc a little more now as an adult, there are other Toa who are coded as having anxiety that I find more interesting and relatable, especially in their range of healthy and unhealthy coping strategies.

Kopaka has bad social anxiety. He camouflages it by acting too cool/intelligent for everyone else, but actually fears that if anyone got close enough to see his failures and insecurities, he’d lose the respect of his fellow Toa and his village. This is best exemplified in his encounter with a Tuurahk, which confirms that his greatest fear is being laughed at. He also starts to panic when he begins to suspect Gali might be able to read his thoughts. 

Pohatu has generalised anxiety.  He worries about screwing up, about not being liked, or being tolerated only because of his strength and power. This isn’t explored much in the canon, but it gets special attention in the story bible version of the shadow Toa encounter. Pohatu’s shadow, rather than monologuing about how it wants to destroy the island like most of the others, stands aside and mutters about how he’s inferior to the other Toa and lacks any real purpose. What’s really interesting is that Pohatu already has a counterargument prepared, and his tone is stubborn but not overly aggressive- it feels like he’s retreading a conversation he has with himself quite a lot. He’s basically applying Cognitive Behaviour Therapy without realising it.

Lewa is more obviously coded as ADHD (and arguably autistic, at least in the Hapka books) than anxiety. But both of these can cause emotional disregulation, which can result in anxiety. We see this mostly during the Bohrok arc, when Lewa frets that he might still be under the control of the Bahrag, and that the other Toa don’t trust him. So this may be anxiety relating to a specific traumatic incident, and has a lot of overlap with PTSD. One thing that seems to work in Lewa’s favour is that he is always honest and open with the other Toa, which often gets him the emotional support that he needs. He seems to have recovered significantly by the time of the later books.

Among the Inika/Mahri, Matoro stands out as having the worst anxiety. His takes the form of impostor syndrome, similar to the kind experienced by Vakama. Matoro believes himself to be unqualified for his job as a Toa, given his past jobs as pet store owner and translator/ aged care provider/ censor. He never speaks of his anxiety, but instead channels it into acts of kindness and compassion towards others, a trait that ultimately allowed him to save the universe, but at a terrible cost.

Honestly, you could probably make a case for Takanuva, Jaller, Hahli, and a few others having anxiety as well. Let’s just hope Spherus Magna has some good therapists...

Quick poll

If you were a fan of Bionicle during 2004 and you currently have anxiety; were you a fan of Toa Metru Vakama?

Please note if you have other mental illness or neurodivergences as well. For reference the Hordika era/error should not factor in. Because what the heck was that. #notmyvakama.

[bionicle-ramblings]

OMFG!!!

@angryraptor13 Imagine the team all on Mata Nui or on their way with the six Matoran, all catching their breath, and Nokama stares at Vakama for a second, completely wide eyed. Vakama asks what he dealmis and she asks, "How long has your mask been scratched?"

And THE WORLD FREEZES AS VAKAMA PULLS HIS MASK OFF AND HE SEES AN OLD CRACK IN IT, LIKE FROM WHEN HE WAS A MATORAN

Silently, and trembling, Vakama fixes his own mask and puts it on and easily switches between visible and invisible with no trouble whatsoever, and he just stands up and says, "I'll be right back," and goes off to turn invisible amd break whatever he can get his hands on, screaming and shouting at how he went through so much over a tiny crack he could've fixed himself, but never did because he didn't see it🤣🤣

@sammykat2hb-blog I imagine Vakama is not an animal person at all, because animals/Rahi are not conducive for a stable work environment, and yet he has small Rahi cats trying to curl up in his lap or on his shoulders, Kikanalo leaning against him and trying to lay by or on him, and all he can really do depends on what's trying to get close to him. If it's something small, he's picking it up and moving it away. If it's something bigger, he's stepping away as casually as he can. And the reason he isn't a fan of animals is because he can't afford to have his hand be nudged while he's making a mask. He doesn't hate animals, he just isn't a huge fan

On the topic of the Dark Hunters, yeah. Fighting them is a mixed bag because Vakama can do easy sneak attacks, but his own teammates barely know where he is. And Krekka does find him and where Nidhiki can't get a hit on Vakama, Krekka easily disorientes Vakama with one hit

I TOTALLY SEE VAKAMA BEING JEALOUS!! I can imagine him smiling at seeing everyone discovering their mask powers easily, but also flickering in and out because as happy as he is for them, he wishes it was that easy for him(and now the anxiety coded character got more layers because that sounds like what it's like to have autism or ADD/ADHD; you're doing the same thing as everyone else, but it's somehow easier for them)

And MATAU!!!! Matau almost getting Vakama pummeled and rhen himself pummeled because he pretends to be Vakama, even tries not to talk so the Le-Metru slang doesn't give him away, and Whenua feels something behind him and readies his weapons and he hears, "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! WHENUA, WAIT, IT'S ME! MATAU, CHANGE BACK NOW!"🤣

I mean this in the most inoffensive way possible, and this is purely my interpretation, looking back now that I've caught up more on the lore and read up on on the books and rewatched the movies:

Vakama is a very anxiety coded character

My evidence is more interpretation that anything else, but let me explain:

We all know how Vakama's story starts: he's an esteemed mask-maker in Ta-Metru, good enough to surpass his teacher and have the Turaga choose him to make the most powerful Kanohi mask of all time(pun intended), he's got friends he enjoys his time with, he has a good thing going for him, even if his city is overrun with Vahki that will attack on sight, there's a homicidal plant that's trying to kill everyone, and Ta-Metru isn't the most livable place to be, all things considered, but Vakama is at his most stable as a Matoran.

I don't have a lot of or any background on his Matoran life to really point out anything that comes across as anxiety, but I will say that Lhikan giving him the Toa stone and Lhikan's capture gave Vakama some kind of survivor's guilt, seeing as how Nidhiki literally threatened to burn Vakama alive if Lhikan didn't hand himself over.

Where we loop back to anxiety territory is the visions Vakama has, or rather what the visions could represent. Anxiety is often referred to as "being afraid of the future," and the future is something Vakama sees due to his visions. The closest I can think of that can be a real life interpretation of the visions(what it could be IRL) are panic attacks or anxiety attacks, nothing severe, but big enough that almost everyone who sees it chalks it up to, "being cross-wired."

Some other things that come off as anxiety coding are when Vakama still makes the Mask of Time, despite still being a Toa, when Vakama tries to feign confidence and gets irritable when he's trying to rescue the rest of the Matoran and is trying to do it as fast as possible, even snapping at and lashing out at his friends. Granted the latter, getting haughty and trying to get the job done quickly, seems to be more the result of Vakama internalizing Lhikan's sacrifice and last words, doing so in a, "he said he was proud to call me his brother, so now I have to keep him proud, even if he's not here to say it," which is a line of thinking that could bring us back to anxiety

In terms of how making the Mask of Time can be seen as something to do with anxiety, this requires a bit of a personal lense to view:

Have you ever been at a point where a big event or thing is coming up and to keep yourself from focusing on it, you try to focus on something else? For instance, if you were stressing about a new semester of school starting or a job interview or a test, have you ever tried to take the focus off of it by doing something like cooking a meal or writing ina journal or drawing? Just a small thing you're used to doing that both challenges you, but is relatively stress-free?

I imagine Vakama is doing mostly the same thing. With no sugar-coating at all, he's stressed the hell out about being a Toa and cannot really express that or back out because he was chosen, so he resorts to making the Kanohi Vahi; he's a skilled mask-maker and his job was to make masks, which he was very successful in. I also imagine it's a bit of a bargaining thing for him, like a sort of, "If I can succeed in making this, I can succeed going forward," thing.

There are smaller things that are also possible pointers or shows of Vakama's implied anxiety, namely how he chooses a weapon most familiar to him from his time as a Matoran(the disk launcher), how his mask power is invisibility, which I've personally felt sometimes when I was having anxiety moments("I don't want to be here right now, I don't want anyone to see me"), and just how quiet Vakama is in general, being someone who possibly wouldn't be noticed as much if he weren't the main protagonist in LoMN; I'm pretty sure if it was Matau or Onewa we were dollowing, Vakama would be an intriguing background character similar to Nuju, only slightly louder, so to speak

This was just a random thought I had, and most of it is just what I interpret, and sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense😅